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It's Dangerous to Go Alone
"It's Dangerous to Go Alone" is the fourth track from the album Starbomb. It features Arin as the voice of Link and Danny as the voice of the Old Man. Lyrics Link: My name is Link y'all, I'm straight out of Hyrule. Been on the force of good since 1986, old school. I'm bringing you a laid back summertime jam. Old man: Hold on a minute Link! Link: Hey what's up old man? Old man: I see that you're embarking on another epic quest, You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess. But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss. It's dangerous to go alone TAKE THIS! Link: Oh thanks old man, that is really very nice. I can always count on you for help and friendly advice. Though I've never seen a sword, quite that shape or size...Oh god that's not a sword, it's your dick in disguise. Old man: Yes can't lie, I have painted my shween. Now grab your destiny, if you know what I mean. Wait a minute link don't leave the cave, Where do you think you're going? This is a great chance to fondle scrotum that you're blowing! Link: That. Was. Weird. But whatever there is no time to lose. I gotta save the princess Zelda in this chilled out groove. Wait this isn't Ganon's lair I'm in liberty city. This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty. I'm at the corner of dead cop and prostitute junction, Something in my ocarina must've gone and malfunctioned. I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do. Old man: Hold on a minute link! Link: Old man is that you? Old man: This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits. It's dangerous to go alone, TAKE THIS! Link: Well that's really kinda DAAAH! That's your wrinkled dick again! Look I know I wear a tunic, but I'm NOT into men. Old man: Don't be that way bitch. Let me introduce you, To my 3 best friends Mr. Johnson, and the juice crew. If you see the princess Zelda well, you know you're gonna grab her. So why don't you try to come grab, my inflatable poo jabber? Link: OH MY GOD! I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits. I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late. Ok now I really don't know where I am... Old man: Hold on a minute link! Link: GOD DAMN IT OLD MAN! Old man: You're in raccoon city, it's a zombie abyss. It's dangerous to go alone, TAKE- Link: NO! FUCK YOU! I'm not giving you a-- I'm not touching your-- STOP THE CHILLED OUT GROOVE! JEEZ! You come out here, telling me you've got a wee wee weapon. It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it I'm not gonna spppplhhh- NOOOOOOOO! Old man: So is that a no on the hand job or... Ok. Lyric Content Link starts a quest to save Princess Zelda from Ganondorf. An Old Man from a cave offers him a weapon to help him out, but it's really his penis painted to look like a sword. Link realizes this in time, but the Old Man is still insistent for Link to "grab his destiny." Link leaves in disgust, and accidentally warps with his ocarina to Liberty City from Grand Theft Auto. The Old Man finds Link again, and offers his "weapon" again. Link again refuses, despite the Old Man's persuasions. Link tries warping again, but ends up in Raccoon City from Resident Evil. The Old Man once again shows up out of nowhere to offer Link his "weapon" again, but Link angrily interrupts him and shouts exasperatedly. The Old Man, confused, ends with, "So is that a no on the handjob?" Trivia *The title "It's Dangerous to Go Alone" is very clearly a reference to the Original Legend of Zelda game, where the first cave in the game contains an old man who offers Link a sword with this phrase. In the song, the phrase is also said by the Old Man every time he asks Link to touch his penis. In fact, the whole song is inspired by this one scene from the game. *This is the fifth Starbomb song to receive an official release on Egoraptor's channel, and the third to be a music video. The video takes several notable liberties with the lyrics, for example "Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew" does not refer to the old man's genitals, but a gang of flamboyant characters (The moon, Ghirahim and Vaati) that he seems to summon with Majora's Mask. It was directed by Joel C (lenkalamari). * Zelda appears four times throughout the video, in three different forms (Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and a mix between the two). * In the video, both Danny and Brian can be seen in Liberty City (albeit dressed as Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian), and a zombified Arin can be seen in Raccoon City. * The concept of an innocent Nintendo character (Link) entering the dark, gritty worlds of Grand Theft Auto and Resident Evil, respectively, could possibly be a reference to a Robot Chicken short, Grand Theft Mario, where Mario and Luigi wind up in Vice City and Yoshi in Raccoon City. * The music video was nominated for "Best Fan Creation" at The Game Awards in 2014. * The song received a sequel on Player Select in the form of The Hero of Rhyme. Category:Starbomb Category:Starbomb Songs Category:The Legend of Zelda